‘O Come, All Ye Failures'

 FAILURE AND DISAPPOINTMENT

By Bro. Tom Jones, Dallas, Texas

We are all familiar with the Christmas carol 'O Come, All Ye Faithful.' The title I gave to this article, "O Come, All Ye Failures," is not original, but would best describe the subject I like to address.   This article might be read mostly by Christians who are familiar with most of the cited biblical references. But I will not limit its applications just to such a group. By writing this, I do not want to appear to the readers as a cut above, but as someone who had failed miserably in life, multiple times, at various stages of life. This is not a memoir of past failures and a current list of victories either. I still stumble and fall, although I have no intention to do so.

We all want to project as successful individuals to the community, to the church, to the Sunday School class, and among our extended families. This polished façade and the plastic smiles are part of our daily lives even when we burn inside facing painful realities. Failure and disappointments were the constant themes of novels and movies of yesteryear, but those are now being substituted for comedy and crime-solving episodes. We live in a 'success culture' that idolizes victories and fulfilment. A vibrant prosperity preacher can quickly fill a sports arena with enthusiastic worshippers.

In contrast, an expository preacher will have to hunt for listeners to sit through the messages where the sinful depravity of unredeemed souls is exposed. We like to shun reality. I wonder if this is the reason why we have an over fascination towards prophetical preaching as opposed to expository preaching.

The expository preaching requires arduous study and measured delivery and a great deal of dependence on the Holy Spirit and much prayer.  A friend of mine was approached by a Palm reader, promising to predict his future. My friend told the Palm reader that he is willing to give a generous reward if he would tell him accurately what my friend had for breakfast that morning.

By no means, I am minimizing the importance of prophetical preaching but just sharing about an unhealthy trend I had observed over the past three or four decades. The Bible is not written to satisfy our curious minds, but to train us to godliness. What better training can we have, than looking at the lives of those who have lived through pain, poverty, suffering, and even martyrdom? Even such exemplary saints battled the same battle that we are now battling to varying degrees.

FAILURE – A PART OF LIFE.

When we turn to the Bible, we are given a deep dose of reality. Whether we like it or not, failures and disappointments are on just about every page. There are way more narratives of failures than mountain-top experiences.

Adam and Eve (Gen. 3), Cain and Abel (Gen 4), Noah and his sons (Gen 16), Lot and his daughters (Gen 19), Jacob and Esau (Gen 27), Joseph and his brothers (Gen 37), Nadab and Abihu (Lev.10), Aaron and Miriam (Num 12), Israel and Canaan (Num 14), Moses and the rock (Num 20), Samson and Delilah (Judges 16), Samuel and his sons (1 Sam 8), David and Bathsheba (2 Sam 11), Solomon and his harem (1 Kings 11), Elijah under the Juniper tree (1 Kings 19).

The list goes on and on into the New Testament, where we find disciple after disciple and church after church marked by failures and disappointments. The Bible's consistent message is that failures and disappointments are an inevitable part of the human experience.

Some years ago, I remembered sharing a long car ride with a Catholic friend, and we talked about many things, including spiritual matters. The conversation veered to the subject of how to get to heaven. My friend said that he tries his best not to violate the ten commandments, although he acknowledged that he is not happy with the outcome. I ended up sharing the message of the gospel with my friend, but as of this day, I don't think he has accepted it.

Many claim to be Christians who believe that following the ten commandments to the best of their ability is the best way to reach heaven without realizing that the ten commandments are the story of ten failures with no victory in sight.  But the apostle Paul found his victory in Jesus Christ. [Rom 7:24-25] Since the ten commandments speak of what pleases God, those who encountered Jesus as their Savior can now strive to obey God by obeying His laws and live a life pleasing to God. Yes, we found victory in Jesus Christ.

If we survey the biblical record, we see the variety and diversity of failures even after they come to know the true and the living God. If we are honest with ourselves, we can relate to many such failures, but often we gloss over those as if these are problems of the less spiritual ones.

Also, we are very quick to find faults with other brothers and sisters and bring them to church discipline to the point of ignoring our Lord's question in Matthew 7:3, "Why do you look at the speck that is your brother's eye, but does not notice the log that is in your own eye?" Just like Israel failed to worship God alone [Isa 2:8]; Aaron failed by making a carved image to worship [Exodus 32:4]; Israel failed to keep sabbath holy [Exodus 16:27]; Eli failed to discipline his sons and his sons failed to honour their father [1 Sam 2]; David failed to keep the sanctity of marriage [2 Sam 11]; Achan failed by stealing gold [Josh 7:1]; Ananias and Sapphira failed by lying to the Holy Spirit [Acts 5:3]; we are all capable of sinning, and the list of biblical records of such failures is no way exhausted. Yet, sadly we fail to be realistic about our condition.

WE WANT PERFECT PEOPLE IN OUR PERFECT CHURCH

 Although the Bible is filled with failures and disappointments as described above, we somehow refuse to accept that it can happen to us. Just because we are Christians or associated with the Kerala Brethren [KB hereafter] through family ties, we think it is less spiritual to accept such failures.

I am writing this to the ones who have failed in life – those struggling with unhappy and unwholesome marriages; those children who are going through peer pressures and being troubled at heart and showing behavioural problems; those who have had permissive lifestyles and going through various trials; single parents; the ones that are going through bitter divorce proceedings etc. I know that at least a few could relate to these situations.

In North America, we have many ethnic churches with a majority of K.B. in attendance. Many first-generation K.B. and other denominations gather in these ethnic churches for the sake of keeping the long-standing traditions and the freedom of worship in their mother tongues. Such gatherings are much appreciated, especially by those who have migrated in their later years for better social interactions and fellowship.

Against the backdrop of such advantages, we seriously face legalism, perhaps more than what we see in the American Assemblies of a similar pattern. I recently read an article about legalism based on the book with the same title, written by Gary Matters. I will quote most of that article here but edited it to fit the current context. It speaks about legalism as follows, but these are not the exact quotes.

DANGERS OF LEGALISM

Even true believers can be legalistic. We are instructed, instead, to be gracious to one another: "Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters [Rom 14:1]. Sadly, some feel so strongly about non-essential doctrines that they will run others out of their fellowship, not even allowing the expression of another viewpoint.

Today, many legalistic believers make the error of demanding complete adherence to their biblical interpretations and even to their traditions. For example, some feel that to be spiritual, one must avoid tobacco, alcoholic beverages, dancing, movies, and not wearing Jewelry. The truth is that avoiding these things is no guarantee of spirituality.

 

The apostle Paul warns us of legalism in [Col 2:20-23] "Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 'Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!'? These are all destined to perish with use because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility, and their harsh treatment of the body. Still, they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." Legalists may appear to be righteous and spiritual, but legalism ultimately fails to accomplish God's purposes because it is an outward performance instead of an inward change.

To avoid falling into the trap of legalism, we can start by holding fast to the words of the apostle John, “For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” [John 1:17] and remembering to be gracious, especially to our brothers and sisters in Christ. "Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master, he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand" [Rom 14:4] “You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat” [Rom 14:10]

A word of caution is necessary here. While we need to be gracious to one another and tolerant of disagreement over disputable matters, we cannot accept heresy. We are encouraged to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints [Jude 3]. If we remember these guidelines and apply them in love and mercy, we will be safe from legalism and heresy. "Dear friends, do not believe every spirit but test the spirits to see whether they are from God because many false prophets have gone out into the world" [1 John 4:1]

Are the K.B. ethnic churches and K.B. churches elsewhere generally legalistic? I leave it to the readers to decide. But I have witnessed people who have failed to the expectations set forth by these legalistic standards to be isolated and neglected without being offered the right hand of fellowship.  

I have watched born-again sisters get denied baptism and participation in the Lord’s Supper because they preferred to wear Jewelry, especially as a symbol of them being married. This jewellery prohibition started among the K.B. because of misinterpretation and misapplication of a few verses.  

Imagine having persons like ‘Abraham and his wife Sarah’; Eli and Samuel, both Priests, but their children went awry; Solomon, David, and Rahab the harlot, all with clear violations of the law; to be part of our congregation! Would we allow any of these people to break bread with us? Considering our traditional thinking, we will not.

But the Bible placed most of these people on higher pedestals. One might say that God put them there because of their repentance and goodness in the latter years of life. Perhaps that is true, although we do not see clear testimonies of such repentance in the Bible. The incident of incest with Lot and his children is found in Gen 19, and we do not hear anything about Lot’s drastic changes or repentance anywhere. But we see him in 2 Peter 2:7 as 'righteous Lot.' God, in His infinite grace, gave him that title.

HOW DO WE TREAT PEOPLE WITH FAILURES?

We refuse to acknowledge any failures due to potential rejection and shame that we might end up facing. If such failures become public, people take sides mostly based on their family ties. We do have one standard for something affecting our immediate families and another legalistic standard for outsiders.

We refuse to empathize with another believer's plight until it happens to our immediate family. Then our legalistic standards take a different turn, and we begin to understand that we are not any better than others, and it was only by the grace of God that we were able to stand insofar as we stood.

Several years ago, there was a popular bracelet with the acronym W.W.J.D., or 'what would Jesus Do.' Many Christians in North America wore it, communicating its powerful message.

I think we should always ask ourselves that question when we are faced with such a dilemma. I have heard of situations where even the parents were ousted from the fellowship because their grown children had gone through a divorce. As such, these parents must have been going through heart-wrenching pain due to this situation's seriousness, and their pain is multiplied with such antipathy from the church leaders and congregation.

The church should be a place where strength and support can be found by the ones that are being hurt, but sadly the legalistic leaders and fellow believers make It a hell.

I remember visiting a church in Tennessee a few times in the past, which had a slogan written on their building – THE PERFECT PLACE FOR IMPERFECT PEOPLE. I believe that such a message would be the one that Jesus would want us to deliver.

Yet, we prefer such people would go elsewhere rather than polluting our congregation. Some years ago, I visited a K.B. assembly in the U.S.A. where they were preparing to invite the local American families to bring their children for the V.B.S. So, I asked one of the members what they would do if some American families decide to start coming to this meeting.

The likelihood of such a scenario is improbable but certainly not outside the realm of impossibility. Any such event would torpedo the equilibrium of the traditional outlook of this congregation and derail its course. Although we want to ‘evangelize’ the neighbourhood, we are not prepared to embrace them or are not enthusiastically interested in seeing any fruit due to the potential conflict. Our gatherings' outlook is to make it as ‘THE PERFECT PLACE FOR PERFECT PEOPLE,' without recognizing that we are not perfect at all.

STRIVE TO LOVE THE IMPERFECT / SOME PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS.

1. No one escapes failure and disappointment. So, we might plan on it and prepare for it to profit from it.
2. Realize and accept that our fellow believers would fail in many ways. The warriors of faith that are listed in Hebrews 11 had suffered significant setbacks. How can we expect anything different?
3. Recognize that mental illness and resulting paranoia or even attempted suicide or actual suicide can be part of life or someone in our congregations. Be loving and compassionate to them and their close families. I recently read an article in one of our leading Malayalam magazines from the K.B. circle, mocking and accusing someone who attempted suicide. Instead of wrapping our arms around that person, we crucify that person and judge him to be accursed. How tragic! Remember, mental illness is real and extreme depression can drive people to such drastic measures.
4. Be compassionate to the ones who had gone through divorce or separation. They need more support and love from us.
5. Instead of denying, minimizing, covering, or avoiding our failures, we bring them to the light of day and the light of God, and we honestly talk about them before Him with the admission of any guilt and with a prayer for His mercy. No matter how badly, how frequently, or how foolishly we failed, we will find mercy if we confess our failures before God. [1 John 1:9] He welcomes all with a welcome sign saying, ‘O Come All Ye Failures.’
6. By faith in Christ, our failures are exchanged for His achievements. The result of this is not that we never fail again. No, the result is that failure no longer defines us. Our God and Savior do not define His people by their failures but by their faith. Failure is not what God sees first when He looks at His people, and it shouldn’t be what we see first when we look at ourselves or other Christians either. We are righteous in Christ. That’s our primary identity. That’s what God sees first, and that’s what we should see first, too.
7. Our present failures should drive us to Christ, but they should also make us long for heaven, hasten the days when the pain of failures and the torture of disappointments will be gone forever.

Tom Johns

Dallas, Texas

Related topic:   Forgiveness - Effective weapon   

26/07/2023