FORGIVE FOR JESUS’ SAKE
By Warren W. Wiersbe
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgave” (Eph 4:32).
An unforgiving spirit creates all kinds of problems. In my pastoral ministry, I have counselled some who have had physical difficulties, not because of sickness, not because of injury but because of attitudes in their heart. Many psychiatrists have observed that people who have emotional problems often have an unforgiving spirit.
This is why the Holy Spirit directed Paul to write in Ephesians 4: 30 – 32,
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Remember Paul was talking about family members forgiving one another – those in the church family who need to forgive each other. Let us consider two things about this matter of family forgiveness.
I. Evidence of an unforgiving spirit
- Corrupt communication
When we have an unforgiving spirit, we say things about people that we shouldn’t say. If I am the kind of person who immediately jumps at the chance to say something evil about a person, that means I am holding a grudge against him. If we cannot say something good, it may mean that we have something bad in our hearts.
- Inner Feelings
Sometimes we are able to control our tongues; sometimes we are able to just bite our lips and not say something evil about somebody. But people would be shocked if they could see what we feel in our hearts!
Bitterness
In Ephesians 4:31 Paul talked about bitterness. Somebody hurts us, and we get bitter. Some Christians hold things inside, and the bitterness just grows like poison in the system. As you well know, when you have an infection, everything is very sensitive, everything hurts.
Bitterness is evidence of an unforgiving spirit. Wrath, anger, clamour – these are the outward evidences of that inward feeling. When there is bitterness in the heart you can’t hide it. When that person we are bitter toward is mentioned, we get angry, or we decide to say something that we shouldn’t say. So, corrupt communication is evidence of an unforgiving spirit.
Malice
Malice is that hateful feeling that we nurture down inside. How easy it is to lie in bed at night and to think up all sorts of evil things about those who have wronged us! That is another evidence of an unforgiving spirit.
When we have this kind of attitude, are we hurting the other person? Of course not! If someone has sinned against me or if someone has done something I didn’t like and I harbour resentment down inside, am I hurting that person? No, I am only hurting myself. Having an unforgiving spirit is something like committing spiritual suicide – you are only hurting yourself.
What are the evidences of an unforgiving spirit? Unkind words, evil words, bitter thoughts, bitter feelings down inside down.
II. Essentials for a Forgiving Spirit
I don’t think any of us wants to be unforgiving. We want others to forgive us; therefore, we should forgive others. The person who will not forgive others is destroying the bridge on which he may have to walk himself someday.
If we do not forgive others, we are putting a barrier between us and other people and between us and God. In fact, our Lord Jesus said that forgiving our brother is one of the conditions for answered prayer. (Matt 6:15)
- Kindness
“Be ye kind to one another.” (Eph 4:32) In Ephesians 2:7 Paul talked about kindness with reference to our salvation: “That in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”
Have you ever stopped to think about how kind God has been to you? (cf. Titus 3: 3 – 5) Why, we who have been condemned forever were able to trust God for salvation? Because of His mercy and kindness.
God is kind to us, not because we are so good but for Jesus’ sake – because of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. If I am going to forgive, I must show kindness. The kindness of God is shown to those who do not deserve it.
- Tenderheartedness
A hard heart is a terrible thing. When you have a hard heart, it robs you of blessings and joy. A hard heart is the result of bitterness and anger., wrath and malice. A hard heart results when we harbour evil feelings inside. Paul said that if we are tenderhearted, then we can forgive. (cf. Eph 4:32)
- Honesty
In Ephesians 4:15 Paul said, “But speaking truth in love.” It’s wonderful when saints can be honest with each other in love. Do not harbour bitterness down inside.
If someone in your church fellowship has done something against you, don’t go around talking about it, don’t be bitter, and don’t develop a hard heart. Don’t think up unkind things to say and do. Go to that person honestly and humbly, and try to get it settled. (cf. Matt 18: 15 – 17) Do you know why? Because “God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” (Eph 4:32)
My experience as a pastor has been that when we take that first step, God usually works in the person’s heart, and the problem gets solved.
The freedom of forgiveness is a marvellous thing. God has forgiven us, and so we are free from our sins. We forgive others; therefore, we are free in our relationship with one another.
Forgive & Forget
You may say, “Well, I can forgive, but I can’t forget.” The Bible does not say that we forget all of these things. In the Bible “to forget” means “not to hold against a person.”
When God says, “Their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more” (Heb 8:12), it does not mean He actually forgets. God cannot forget anything. It simply means He does not hold it against us any longer.
Walk in love
You may say, “It’s awfully hard to forgive.” But it’s harder not to forgive! If we don’t forgive, we grieve the Holy Spirit. If we don’t forgive, we deny what Jesus did for us on the cross. If we don’t forgive, we are not walking in love. Ephesians 5:2 says, “And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us.”
Life is too short to have enemies. Enemies are very expensive too. And so, we are not going to have enemies; we are going to forgive. We are going to forgive, not because anybody deserves it but for Jesus’ sake.
Taken from 'How to be a Caring Christian' (c) The Good News Broadcasting Association
Related topics:
Forgiveness
Forgineness: our weapon
Taken from 'How to be a Caring Christian'
26/07/2023
